Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Overwhelmed.....

Do you ever have moments that you are just completely overwhelmed....mentally, physically, and emotionally.... those moments seemed to have turned into days as of late. I feel as if no matter what I do someone is going to be hurt, or offended. I seem to be catching anger and frustration from all sides. I feel pushed away and neglected and unwanted. If I try to express my feelings they get turned back around on me and everything is made to be my fault or a direct counteraction to some action that I have had. Its like everyone else is allowed to treat me like crap, lash out at me and have whatever kind of emotion they are feeling but I am supposed to just shut it down and not feel anything because somehow their feeling must have been my fault. I can't win. What's the point, I keep being told that I need to change, I don't understand why I am the only one that needs to change. I feel completely alone in the world... I can't really talk to anyone...not even the person that is supposed to be my very best friend in the whole world...he can't even try to understand that their might be another side to the story or that I might just have a point. Its that I am always fighting him and I can't never even back down when I am wrong...I always have to be right.... I don't feel that way at all. I don't feel like I am ever allowed to be right. I really missed him tonight and just wanted to talk because he always makes things better....but he hasn't really made an effort to talk to me today...he never text me until after I text him. He doesn't call to talk unless he needs something. I'm just really feeling unwanted. Tomorrow is a new day....maybe it will be a busy one and I won't have time to think.....

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